Years ago, I was stuck. And desperate.

I kept adding more fixes. A new morning routine, a different app, a stricter bedtime, a podcast that promised momentum by Monday. Each one helped for a few days, then the same knots returned. If that sounds familiar, you are not failing, you are bumping into the limits of an old system. This story shows what that feels like in real life, then it gives you a map for changing the system so your simple tools finally stick. It pairs with our free PDF, The Hidden Reason Life Feels Overwhelming, which you can download and keep handy as we go.

Get our free PDF Guide: The Hidden Reason Life Feels Overwhelming

My typical week on repeat

Monday started early. I planned a clean list and drank more water. By dinner time, I realized I had forgotten about the list and had just been ineffectively trying to make progress without actually following my plan.

Tuesday I tried a new focus timer. It worked for a few hours. Then messages, chores, and a swirl of thoughts took over.

By Wednesday night I was exhausted but still didn't feel like I had even accomplished anything. I beat myself up for wasting time on social media despite the impending deadlines. I stayed up late to catch up, then struggled to fall asleep. (I blamed the blue light of my screens at 11pm)

Thursday I promised myself that a harder push would fix it. I stayed busy, but I couldn't tell if I was productive. Netflix and Instagram became increasingly more enticing.

Friday arrived and I was empty, so I scrolled and called it rest. But even after "resting" the whole morning, I somehow had less energy than before.

To-do lists, exercise, nutritional supplments, positive affirmations, and productivity apps. All good things right? Then how come they weren't helping?

Turns out that there was nothing was wrong with the tools. They simply could not outwork the system running underneath.

The Pattern Behind That Week

If you've read through our free PDF guide (linked above) this will sound familiar. I highly recommend downloading it while it's still available.

There are the things we don't want (procrastination, stress, anxiety, guilt, shame, etc). Then there are the things we do want (peace, joy, creativity, progress, connection, relaxation, etc). and then there are the things we do to move away from what we don't want and towards what we do want. This includes things like exercise, journaling, meditation, therapy, entertainment, and even things like grit, willpower and accountability systems. 

But for so many of us, those actions don't seem to make a lasting difference. If we're lucky, we see some results for a short bit until we run out of motivation and the effects fade just as fast as the habits do. 

That's how I used to live every single week. I thought it was just how you had to do things: relax and unwind on the weekend, restock your enthusiasm and will power, and then see how long you could last heading into the week. 

But as time went on, my willpower gave out faster and faster each week. And gradually, by the time Friday evening came, I didn't even have enough energy to do the things that I truly loved and would provide that needed reset. Consequently, I started each week with less and less energy, getting burnt out sooner and sooner. 

The Ah-ha Moment That Changed Everything

After about 6 months of this process and 6 months of increasing dread and hopelessness, I realized something that shifted everything.

I was reviewing some of my old neuroscience notes. The entire purpose of the nervous system can be summarized into 3 primary functions:

   1. Take in sensory information

   2. Process that information

   3. Take action

Right here, as plain as day was the solution I was looking for. THIS is what my brain is designed to do. It seems super basic, but that's where the beauty lied: instead of trying to change everything else in my life, I needed to dedicate my energy towards effectively doing what my brain was designed to do. 

For feasibility, I changed these three items from processes to powers, so it would be easier and more natural to understand them. I named them the 3 Powers:

   1. Focus: where and how we dedicate our mental and physical attention (what information we take in)

   2. Meaning: the interpretations, stories, perspectives we choose to apply to the information we take in (how we process the information)

   3. Action: the actions we take, the behaviors, and shifts in our state (based on how we processed that information)

How the 3 Powers Shifted My Experience

I realized that previously I had been trying to start first with actions. But without changing how I used my first two powers, Focus and Meaning, it was near impossible to truly change my actions. I could brute force some actions, but because it wasn't the natural result of how I was currently using my Focus and Meaning, there was dissonance. 

I could fight against that dissonance for a while, but I always failed when my willpower ran out.

So instead, I started first with Focus. I changed what I paid attention to, the information I took in, the thoughts, feelings, emotions, and environmental cues that would be most beneficial.

Then I changed how I interpretted those. I reframed negative triggers into positive associations so that momentum would build instead of get interrupted.

And I reframed the meaning behind the actions I was doing. Instead of forcing myself to do what was needed, I made it incredibly easy to stay consistent with those actions by first changing how I saw their purpose. 

How to Start Making a Shift Today

Download our free guide! There are some powerful new perspectives in there (including the 3 Powers). Take the first steps towards understanding how your brain actually works, so you can start working with your brain instead of against your brain.

Get our free PDF Guide: The Hidden Reason Life Feels Overwhelming

Key takeaway

When nothing works anymore, change the system first. Inside first, outside second, then repeat until steady.